When you think of love songs - the greatest love songs of all time, what comes to mind?
Have you noticed that many of these love songs feed into our heartaches or desires. We’re drawn to them; putting them on repeat and unconsciously learning the lyrics. Why?
Have you ever wondered why are so many pop songs are about love?
Merriam-Webster dictionary, defines Love as a
(1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
(2): attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers
(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
The funny thing is, that definition does not share the gritty details involved with love - the sacrifice, the compromise, and not always sharing common interests. In other words, there is a bit of loneliness and sometimes a bit of suffering involved.
For most of humankind, out of all of the emotions that we experience, we tend to feel connected to love. Love trumps all emotions. We think that if we fall in love, we’ll somehow be happy and satisfied for years and years to come – in other words - FOREVER. This reason is why we declare #relationshipgoals! Any chance we get when we come across a “perfect relationship.”
The bottom line is that we want the perfect person who desires us and treasures us. And without that perfect love, we feel incomplete. And that song keeps us connected to that loving feeling. It’s almost as if the song reaffirms our innate desire for love and intimacy. Love songs tend to remind us of love lost or a love gained. It seems to transport us to that space in time when our lover was perfect, love was not yet tainted, or that love we yearn for constantly.
According to a great channel, School of Life, Romanticism is to blame. In the 18th century, European poets, artists and philosophers sparked this ideology that true love is a passionate love story. This union entails that the couple has great sex forever, physical attraction, financial success, mutual interests, a psychic connection – i.e. speaking without speaking, and more.
Love reminds us that there are good in human beings in the world. And therefore, they should be perfect enough to take care of us, right? Wrong.
From now on, when we listen to our favorite love songs, we must understand that in a relationship, both partners carry flaws. Both partners will make mistakes. You can’t find everything in one person. For a relationship to work, you must make an effort to understand one another daily. There will not always be mutual interests, great sex, or an equal income.
When listening to our favorite love song, treat it like watching your favorite film. Have sympathy for a singer’s experience instead of reveling in one’s high hopes of perfection in love
We must make an effort to stop striving for perfection or burrowing in love lost. We must make a better effort in loving ourselves. Loving yourself is the most intense, romantic relationship one could ever have.
Now, have that perspective when you listen to the next love song.