It's All My Fault
"It's all my fault!" is probably a phrase that many of us were told to avoid, maybe by a well-to-do parent who couldn't stand to hear their child being so hard on themselves. That phrase has a tendency to be met by rebuttals like, "Don't be so hard on yourself", "You did the best that you could" all wonderful things that can make us feel better about ourselves in the comfort of knowing our circumstances aren't our fault at all. "Maybe if my parents were more privileged I wouldn't have to grind so hard to get the attention I need to launch my career." Even when we murmur these things to ourselves, we could be doing ourselves a huge disservice. By no means is it not true that if you're born privileged, you're going to have a lot more access to resources than the next act. However, that doesn't mean the market will fall in love with you before nearly draining that privileged bank account of yours dry, leaving you out of hundreds of thousands of dollars or even millions, if you had it like that.
Even I satiate at the thought of having it "like that", but I don't and chances are plenty of us don't. That in itself does not discourage that unyielding vision you have of yourself racking in all the accolades, that symbol to your idealism that "I have arrived". When you look around and take inventory of your circumstances, all you have is what you have. If you cannot come to terms with that notion and develop a strategy on how you plan to get where you're trying to go, then you're just as good as somebody trying to drive to China from California. Noting that you realize you'd have to go by boat or plane but spend your time all caught up in how "cool it would be if you could just drive there." It's a waste of your day because geography is not going to back pedal to some ancient Pangaea to meet your "cool standards". At least this is something I've had to tell myself repeatedly.
If I want to go to China, I better get on the boat or save up for the plane ticket. It may take me a lot longer than the person who can just pull out the cash for the flight or even more ideal someone comes along who can spare the extra cash and pays my way to my dream of arriving at the shore on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. So here goes another scenario that would make it easier for me to achieve my dream. Screw the parents what about a wealthy sponsor coming along accelerating me to my first stadium tour. The point is we can go on forever and ever with new dreamed up utopian versions of our lives. If I still want to make it to China, and I don't start planning, how I'm going to hitch a ride on the boat or plane out of California, with or without some convenient lucky level up moment? It would be unrealistic not to realize that, if I never make it to China "IT'S ALL MY FAULT" #TOUGHSELFLOVE